Who is to blame?

Whose fault is it you’re in your current situation? Who got you to where you are right now in life? Is it your mother’s fault? Is it because your parent’s got divorced when you were young? Is it your ex’s fault? Is it because of your boss?

Who is to blame for why you’re unhappy with your life?

It’s your husband’s fault you’re so tired. He gets up early for work and wakes you up every morning. Can’t he just for once put his clothes in the bathroom the night before and shut the door so I can sleep a little longer? Is that really too much to ask? If he would just let me sleep a little later I wouldn’t be so tired and I’d actually do better at work. Maybe I’d even get that promotion I know my boss is going to give to someone else. And if I got some extra sleep I could go to the gym after work! I could finally lose those extra 10 pounds I put on. Well, he’ll just want pasta again for dinner so I probably can’t lose weight. Doesn’t he get I can’t eat pasta all the time? Sure, he can eat whatever he wants but I’m a woman. I’m not so lucky.

On and on your thoughts spiral about how it’s not your fault. It’s his fault you’re tired. It’s his fault you aren’t in line for the promotion. It’s his fault you don’t exercise. It’s his fault you gained weight.

This is your reality.

Truly, there is only one person in this entire world you can control. One person who absolutely must do what you say. And that person is you!

What if, instead of blaming your husband for getting up early, you looked at what you could change?

You know your husband gets up early for work asking him to be quieter in the morning hasn’t worked, so you decide to start going to bed earlier to compensate. He leaves the house an hour before you have to so while he’s getting ready you decide to clean off the treadmill you’ve been using to dry laundry. The first day you simply walk, but by the end of the week you start doing jogging intervals. You feel good about your new routine and when you get to the office you are more productive than you’ve been in a long time. Maybe you will get that promotion after all.

There will always be people who do things that you don’t like. Sometimes you can deal with it by talking to them; other times you may have to change what you’re doing to accommodate the situation. Either way, you are in control of how you respond to the situation. You are accountable.

If you give other people power over your life, then you might as well pack it in right now because they just aren’t going to do what you want them to do. They’re not worried about your happiness, they’re worried about their own. Take control of your own happiness!